Today had a real tough start.  I walked into work and immediately received an email about an employee who had to go out of town because his 2 year old granddaughter died.  At first they believed she drowned but later on in the day we heard that she may have been bitten by a snake and became disoriented and wondered near the pool.  I have such a hard time understanding death.  I’ve struggled with it since elementary school.  But when I child dies I am so baffled.  It so hard to understand why.  Being a mom, I almost instantly go into how the parents must feel.   The thought makes me so sad and I literally want to throw up.  Please pray for this family tonight.

This pretty much threw off my day.  I pretty much lost track of time haha which wasn’t so bad because it seemed like the morning flew by.  I only realized what time it was when I walked into the lunch room to see a group of boot campers getting started with their workout.  For some reason I was taken back and thought crap I need to change.

My head cleared up after my workout but I felt so tired.  Once I got home and sat down I kept dosing off and falling in and out of what seemed to be a deep sleep.  It was kind of weird. I’m feeling a bit better now, still tired, but holding out on going to sleep for at least another hour so I can sleep past 4.

Poor Justin had a terrible blotchy rash on his legs when I got home.  He said it didn’t bother him but it bothered me.  Rashes make me nervous ever since we were at the pediatrician and a child, who came in with rash, was asked not to walk through the waiting room.  They met him at the back door and brought him directly to an exam room.

My plan was to take him to the doctor, but it slowly started to clear up.  Just keeping an eye on it now to make sure it doesn’t get any worse.

My eating was a bit off today.  Well maybe just the schedule was off.  I didn’t eat enough and my meals weren’t too balanced. I’m chalking that one up to poor planning.  My workout was pretty good; we worked on abs today to…OUCH!!!  My stomach can’t handle the pain haha.  I’m hoping it will all pay off…I’m sure it is working I just can’t see what’s going on behind this mess of a torso I currently have.

I’m starting to get excited about my progress again…I saw some people this evening who notices a difference.  I feel a difference, I don’t see it on me; I feel it in my clothes though.  I had on a pair of pants today that were extra baggy on me.  I was so excited when I put them on J  It’s the little things that make me happy.  I’m approaching that damn hump that I have NOT been able to get over in like 16 years.  If I can do this, this time, it will be a magical moment for me.  I’m fighting harder for myself this time.  I have got to do this once and for all!