The last few days consisted of a few great confidence boosters for me.  I did great with my eating; I included my cheat meal and kept my portions reasonable and was able to get right back on track.  That’s a huge accomplishment for me.  Usually when I have a cheat meal I go overboard.  I haven’t done that in weeks. I didn’t even get down on myself about it.  I planned it, I did it within reason, and then I moved forward; it’s great to have that sense of self control.

I had a pretty good running weekend as well.  Friday we did a crazy run smack dead in the middle of the afternoon. I thought we were going to die haha.  After the run I was literally on the verge of throwing up, I had the shakes, and when I sat down to rest I fell asleep for about an hour and a half. This was the run from last week I had to do over.  When I did it the first time, I told my trainer that I thought I did well; it wasn’t that hard for me.  He told me that the run that I thought was easy should have been one of the worst runs so we agreed I should do it over…and I did…and…WOW!  It was horrible, I was a mess, the heat got to me, the run got to me but I felt good because I got through it, I finished it, and that’s what’s most exciting to me. I sent an email to my trainer to let  him know how horrible it was…a great kind of horrible that is, he was right, I certainly didn’t feel the same way I did the first time as I did the second time haha.  I am beginning to learn how it feels to push myself when running.  It’s sort of a different feeling than I’m used to.

This morning I had to do a 40 minute run.  So my friend and I headed out at 7AM to do it.  We walked over a mile and talked then decided to start running.  I was so determined to run the full 40 minutes and I did; I was actually excited about it.  I kept up well with my friend for a short while then we both found our pace.  My pace wasn’t fast, but it was steady.  I didn’t stop or walk once.  My breathing was good, my legs were fine, and I had absolutely no reason to stop, so I just kept going.  At one point I looked at the time and I had just about 3 minutes left to run.  I got so excited I started to have a little bit of an anxiety attack and that threw my breathing off.  I thought to myself, “Hell no this can’t happen now!”  So I focused on my breathing, took a deep breath, and finished up the run. 

I can’t believe how much my perspective about running has changed.  I’m at a point where I can see improvements and I am actually looking forward to the next run to see how it goes.  I am, by no means, a great runner, but I am more of a runner now than I ever thought I would be and I can’t wait to see how much better I am by the time the half marathon rolls around!