The ability to sleep the last couple of weeks has diminished quite a bit.  I woke up at 1:00 AM this morning.  I really wanted to cry.  I didn’t think I would fall back to sleep, but I did, at 530 AM, 30 minutes before I have to get up…UGH that was the worst thing that could have happened.  Apparently my new sleep pattern is to sleep about 3 hours then wake.

I was exhausted today; I felt like I was dragging all day.  At one point I almost fell asleep at my desk.  I’m not sure how I got through my workout.  I think at that point I may have been delirious; I lost track of what I was doing, I was completely confused. There was nothing I could do but laugh at myself.

I’m sitting here barely able to keep my eyes open.  But if I go to sleep now Ill wake up by 1030 haha.  I’m a mess J  A friend of mine came by and dropped of some Melatonin; she said to try half so we’ll see how that goes.  Most medications that state they may make you drowsy usually have the opposite effect on me.

Even with being so tired, today was a pretty good day.  I can’t think of anything negative happening…it was a MUCH better day then yesterday.  It was pretty productive and I had a few good laughs throughout the day.

Although I was pooped and confused during my workout, it was one that I liked.  I would have liked it even more if I was using a lighter medicine ball.  But, after all was said and done, I felt good about completing the workout with the heavier weight.  It’s been a while since I worked with heavier weights but this week was different.  It felt real good to be challenged, accept that challenge without a sense of dread, and complete the workouts.  Now I just need to practice smiling through my workouts ha-ha…that’s going to be a tough one for me since I feel like I have no control over my facial expressions but I will make a conscience effort to do so. 

I’m looking forward to the weekend.  We are hit’n the beach again tomorrow, Nicks having 3 of his friends over, I need to complete weeks 2 and 3 of my running plan, and make sure I stay on track with my eating and we will hopefully have some time to relax and catch up on some sleep.

I did a pretty good job of distracting myself from some issues today.  There’s one particular issue that is weighing heavy on my mind; I believe that and the lack of sleep is beginning to toy with my emotions.  This is causing me to react, over react, cry, internalize things, ummm what else…I think that’s it.  If I think of anything else I’ll let you know J Anyway, I’m looking forward for this to end so I can move forward...and possibly get some sleep.