Even with the lack of sleep the day has been great! Its been very productive, workout was fun, and my eating was real good. I've been feeling good about me.
I've been searching for some inspiration and I have found it! Been thinking about and praying for a sweet girl who is battling cancer. I've been comparing my non-life threatening issues to what she is dealing with. While thinking about all this I actually felt disgusted with myself.
Here's this beautiful 11 year old who has been fighting for over year and has to start all over again. She has such courage and always seems to be smiling. Here I am, hung up on a few things and stressing over something that won't take my life.
The sad thing is I know so many people like this, like me. It seems so wrong; it interferes with life and brings so many people down. Clearly life is too short for this non-sense.
So after all this thinking I did, I realized that I have almost relapsed into full eating disorder mode. I was paranoid about how much I was eating, I was binging way to much, I was obsessing over everything I know I should not obsess about.
Here's the good thing...I recognized it fairly quickly. I prayed about it and that made such a HUGE difference. I prayed for peace of mind and stregnth and it happened almost instantaneously.
I think about this sweet girl with cancer and I can't help but wonder why I allow myself to become so self-consumed. I can't allow this to happen...that's not the kind of person I want to be.
So back to smiling I go...and this time, it's a genuine smile.
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