F.R.I.D.A.Y!

I am so grateful to God today for blessing us with the most amazing day of the week…FRIDAY!!  What a week it’s been.  I totally went into emotion overload.  It was one of those weeks where I just didn’t know how to feel.  I felt so drained this week; at one point during the week, I had my head in my hands and actually fell asleep.

There have been many great people in my prayers this week who are facing challenges.  I find comfort in believing that all will be fine through the grace of God. I truly believe things will be even better.  God has blessed me with wonderful people.  An even better blessing is that I am able to get close to so many.  It’s so amazing to be able to do this.  The downfall, at times, is that I truly hurt for them.  It’s hard for me to keep my composure when I need to be supportive.  I have difficulty sleeping sometimes wondering how they are doing when they are alone.  

I think I feel the pain of others so often because my own experiences.  I had a friend who I was close to who seemed to be experiencing a stretch of loneliness.  During that time I was literally sick to my stomach for them; I even lost sleep at night wondering if they were ok.  The idea of someone I cared so much about feeling alone is so upsetting for me.  This even happens with some I don’t know; when I see an obese person walking alone I automatically get a rush of feelings of rejection.  If I see an obese person eating alone and eating a lot I feel depression.  If I see an obese person with a group of people I get feelings of discomfort and even alienation, even when in a group...Wow…maybe I need to get back into therapy this sounds worse than I thought J

I love that I can feel for people; its part of what defines me.  I just wish I could help them more, be there more, tell them I care, give them a big hug to let them know things will be fine if they just hang in there.  I never feel that what I do is enough.  Here’s what I don’t understand…why is it me who feels alone, almost deserted at times, when someone I want so much for is  finally content?