Anxiety....WOOF!  Its been coming on strong today.  Yup this is something I do to myself.  It seems to happen when the workouts are going on at work and I'm not in it.  Yup, another thing I'm doing myself, just still unsure if it is the right or wrong thing to do (which is probably where the anxiety coming from)

On one hand, I am making progress and proving to myself that I can do this on my own and that was one reason, the main reason, why I felt I needed to do breakaway for a little while.  I feel so good about this...I really do.  Every time I think about it I smile. I also set a goal to do this for 6 weeks or drop 20 lbs. whichever comes first and neither has come yet.  So, am I just growing inpatient with myself, am I afraid that I'll fall apart before I reach a goal as I usually do?  I am so confused about this I feel like there is such a void in my life right now.

I've even thought of just stopping all together; I don't want this thought to cross my mind but it has been.  Why is this even happening? This is extremely frustrating for me. I cant figure this out. I've been praying and looking for answers about what to do and how to do it.  This journey has always been so great but now it seems to be falling apart.  I can't tell if I'm holding on to something that needs to end or if I'm walking away from it.  I'm torn between what I want/need and what I think I have to do.

Until I find peace with this, I will keep praying, I will hang on to this confidence that is beginning to flourish again, and keep shooting for my 20lb or 6 week goal.