Rebuilding Snafu...

I was pretty excited about the new series they are doing at church...Rebuilding.  This is perfect for me.  I am in the process of "rebuilding" myself for the first time, on my own...perfect timing.  I listened to the message; it was loud and clear.  Basically, you can't rebuild until you confront any outstanding concerns, issues, whatever you want to call it.  How hard could this be?  Shouldn't be too bad.  There are a couple of things I needed to resolve, for myself, to really get into this process.

For me, confrontation is never easy...conversations for that matter can be difficult at times.  I thought about my situation, what I needed to confront and came up with a couple of things that I would need to approach; mostly within myself.  Confrontation, with myself, can even be a chore since I am a big over thinker, I wonder if some of that maybe that I lack confidence and some ability to believe in myself.  So I sorted those things out and, I think, I have done pretty well with them over the last couple of days.  Easy enough, right? Sure, until there is someone else in the situation.

For the most part, I lived my life hiding my own feelings, opinions, thoughts because I have this fear of hurting others even though most have no issue with voicing their opinions to me and I usually don't mind hearing it.  For that I am grateful, except when people are being hateful.  For the few people who can tell me things in a constructive, positive way it has helped me to heal and grow.  I wanted to approach the  situation gently, make it as quick, painless, and positive as possible so I can move forward with my rebuilding plan.

Things did not go as I hoped they would. This is just another confirmation that things just don't go away; when they become contained sooner or later something triggers it and things become blown out of proportion.  I have realized now more then ever that being this way for so long does not help anything or anyone; it eventually makes things worse, harder to deal with, and/or can pretty much disrupt/ruin relationships.

So where do I go from here?  How do I fix this?  I'm at a loss.  I am just praying on it and hoping that next weeks message will be about "Rebuilding after Rebuilding Snafu". 

Moving forward, things are going well...a ton of stress today and not 1 problem with my eating.  Accomplishments are wonderful!