Monday Monday...not my favorite day of the week but I think that just may change.  Mondays are fasting days.  I was dreading it today but it turned out great!  We ate a late dinner last night so that meant eating much later today but, in the end, it was perfect.

I did dinner tonight with my Monday workout group, Brent, and his girl Sarah.  We had a great time, lots of laughs.  This was our delayed Holiday get together...oh the Holidays are wonderful even 2 months later.  This is such an amazing group of ladies. So supportive and encouraging.  Out of all the groups I've been in within the last 2 years this group seems to encourage me to push harder the most.  Love those ladies!

The day was pretty good overall with the exception of not spending time with my boys.  They were home today playing outside in this amazing weather. I wish I could have been home with them today.  I missed them so much; they were all in bed when I came home from dinner.  I got a few odd things done at work that I put off.  Not so great...Everyone seems to be getting sick, my boss was out today and poor TJ isn't feeling well at all.  I'm still not 100% but I feel better than I have been over the past few days.

I'm beginning to feel a change with my diet.  Feeling kind of blah.  Still doing well with my food.  My cravings aren't bad.  I am, however, lusting over food...I feel shame!  It's not like the 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s desserts."  I know lust is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but does that include food? No, right?  So I'm good than :-)

Brent emailed me something to listen to called "Finding Satisfaction in God, not Food" It was a great eye opener.  It made me recognize how much I used to idolize food.  Food was, and still is at times, such a priority, everything revolved around food for 43 years of my life.  No matter what we did, whether it was a happy or a sad time, we always brought food into it. We would always say Thank God for this cake, or cookie or whatever we were shoveling into our mouth.  When we were sad we would eat as we cried, just feeling sorry for ourselves, saying over and over again, "what am I supposed to do?"  Food was the center of my Universe for a long time.

After listening to "Finding Satisfaction in God, not Food" I couldn't help but wonder how things would have been if I replaced God with "food" as suggested. My life would be so different.  Had I placed my sadness in God’s hands instead of burying my sadness under mounds of food that turned to mounds of fat I would have healed so long ago. I wonder if I would have even reached the point of "brokenness" that I did.  I would have been healthier, I would have been happier.  If my life revolved around God my scars would not have been so deep. Instead of eating and saying "what am I supposed to do?" I should have prayed to the One who could make a difference.  Food never made anything any better.

So now that I've typed that out, I'm wondering if this "lusting" I am doing is considered idolizing food.  Am I falling back into an old habit or am I still breaking away from it?  I believe I am breaking away from it.  I am not giving into my "desires", I'm resisting temptation, and I am stronger now because food is not most important to me.  It is fuel; it is not my comforter, my healer, my strength, my power.  I have all that in God, I don't need it nor should I want it in food.

I've only listened once, while at work, I will listen again soon, I'm sure there is more that I missed.  The links are attached.  Take some time to listen; it may change your life.

Finding Satisfaction in God, Not Food Part 1
Finding Satisfaction in God, Not Food Part 2

Here's what I ate today:

Fasting from 815PM Sunday until 215PM Monday
216             2 turkey burgers, 1 1/2 cups cabbage, 8 almonds (thanks TJ for putting them in my bag)
300              Protein Shake, 6 almonds
730              Grilled steak and shrimp with mixed vegetables, salad w/cucumber

Water intake     maybe 80 oz.  Not to good