This week has been so out of routine for me; I’ve been feeling so awkward.  I’ve been trying to get lots done while sorting things out in my overcrowded head.  My priority this week was to schedule some appointments and schedule I did.  I have more appointments scheduled then ever…right now 7 within the next 6 weeks.

I made a decision to get back into counseling.  I contacted a therapist I met with a few times just 2 years ago only for her to tell me that she is not accepting any patients at this time…BOO!  She was kind of enough to give me referrals to others in the area….3 of the 4 she gave me are not accepting patients at this time and the other said she could see me by the end of May.  I didn’t want to wait that long but heck I might as well schedule that appointment and hold things together on my own until then. I was relieved, excited and looking forward to seeing her.  I received an email from her regarding information I will need for my first appointment.  Within the email she told me that the first 2 meetings are $205 each then $150 each thereafter.  Shame on me for assuming she would take my insurance…bummer <sigh> I am so disappointed; just wanted to cry.  I’m really at a loss now.

Moving forward…I finally heard back from the Neurologist who I am now seeing.  He wants to re-test to ensure his “undiagnosis” of my MS is accurate.  We have scheduled an MRI for the 2nd week in May and a Lumbar Puncture for the 3rd week in May then an appointment to hear the results the first week of June.  I’m praying he doesn’t change his mind haha…this has been such a tense, drawn out process for me.  I will be SO happy when it comes to an end.

All the other appointments…seeing a Gastro doctor Monday…which I’m guessing will lead to more tests, dentist to get a tooth yanked…the idea of that sickens me, Dermatologist to get a routine skin cancer screening.  It just feels never ending at this point but once these other things are taken care of I can cross them off my list which is very exciting!

Why do things feel so awkward this week….I am missing my workouts and the people I work out with.  I thought it would be a good idea to take at least the week off so I could re-focus and see if I could come up with some kind of strategy to get my nutrition, workouts, and head in sync.  I was doing so GREAT up until the end of last week.  I dropped 9 lbs. in 2 weeks!  I was on a roll!  Then something happened, I started doubting myself, and I blew it.  I really frustrate the hell out of me when this happens.  I know in my heart that I can fix this binging non-sense…I did so well when I first started this journey. ..I can do it again.  I’m praying that any day I will get that “I can do this” feeling and get back into my routine with the confidence and self-esteem I need.