So after an entire week of deciding not to do any workouts I’m wondering where that leaves me.  I know I feel like absolute crap.  I noticed a difference in the numbness of my leg…its worse.  I already knew my back would feel a little worse since workouts have always helped to make it feel better when I was hurting.  So my big plan seems to have backfired on me; so much for that.

I was planning to do yoga yesterday…I put on my workout clothes and mowed my legs for the big occasion but then our yoga lady had to cancel at the last minute…guess it just wasn’t meant to happen at all this week.

I think I’m going to give up, for the time being, on my search for a therapist.  I’m creating too much stress for myself with this one.  I even look into a couple of inpatient facility which actually sounded and looked pretty interesting.  Do I think I am that crazy that I need inpatient care…am I that bad again that I need it?  No, I’m not…I am just that desperate to bring this all to an end once and for all.

During this week I realized why I’m feeling the way I am, what has caused it, and what triggered it.  I know that if I just throw it all out on here I would feel better and be able to move forward.  Before I do, there is a conversation that needs to happen but I am such a coward I don’t know that I could even have it.