Maria is over thinking things...AGAIN! Trying to be positive and so optimistic but that's being over shadowed by reality. Have you ever wished you can take something back...just do a total rewind? There are somethings I wish I could change, like being vulnerable, naive, trusting, accommodating...all the stuff that makes me myself, all the qualities I have that make me happy to help people. Why is it that those are the same qualities that cause sadness and disappointment in my life?
Why do I feel so unimportant and forgettable? Is it when I realize that I am no longer of use to someone and I can view that by their actions? Is it the way people talk to me? Why is it okay to snap at me? Do I frustrate people that much?
I'm beginning to believe that the happiness I bring to others, and myself, by doing for them is temporary. Once the deed is done the gratitude leaves and it seems like the relationships die down...until I am needed again BUT then I will be there for them, always; even knowing this.
But then what happens when I need someone or something? How does that play out? I feel like I'm rejected often, or, am I just like the others who, I think, forgot about the kindness that I gave to them?
I can empathize with those very same thoughts and feelings you have.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible we expect more out of people without them knowing or understanding, and then are let down when they just don't get it, especially those we love.