Today was a nice day. Stayed home from work, went to the boys Honor Roll Ceremony, did some shopping for dinner, went to work out-had a pretty good group workout and a great one on one workout, headed home to cook, clean, and have some good conversation with friends. Nick had a great doctor’s appointment today. Tj spoke to the doctor about how to inform him of his Asperger’s and her response was, “no one has ever asked me that.”
Been thinking a lot about all I put myself through yesterday. I’m still confused, not sure if I’m handling things right. I’m at a loss; I really thought I found my purpose.
When I feel this way, I’m starting to slip and I’m nervous that it might just be a matter of time before I fall. My eating wasn’t good today; I had this uncontrollable urge to eat. I was able to fight the urge a few times but gave in to it other times. I don’t understand why I do this…there is no comfort in eating anymore. I missed something when I was going through this today, I missed what has been giving me comfort for a while now, I missed what has held me together at times like this…I missed praying today. I got so caught up in things I had to do. I can’t help but wonder if my lack of prayer enhanced my urges to binge.
I’m hoping tomorrow will bring goodness and peace of mind.
Sweetheart - please remember that food is something we consume... not something that should consume us. Don't measure yourself by your diet restrictions. When your main focus all day long is what you eat, you are bound to eat all day long. Let the restrictions go. Please. Focus more on listening to your body. When you are hungry, eat. When you are not, don't.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen, this truly means a lot. I will remind myself of this whenever the urges come a long. Maybe I should shop instead of eat :)
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