Day 5 Coming to a Close...

Its been a great day.  Woke up early to get the boys to school early.  Nick wanted to be at school early because the club he is in was doing a fundraiser this morning.  He was so excited. Even though I had to go a half hour out of my way, before work, I was only 5 minutes late and most importantly I had a very happy 6th grader. 

Got to work and got settled.  I soon received a call from Nick in a complete panic.  He was supposed to have us sign something for math class but did not.  He was in meltdown mode and was begging me to come back to school to sign it. Whoever didn't have their parents signature would get lunch detention.  I sent a quick email to the math teacher and his resource teacher and they took care of it...Phew!

Had an OK workout today.  The workout itself was a good one but I could have done much better.  Along with a couple of other thing, we had to do box jumps and run.  Both of those are real challenging for me.  I can get it done, but it takes more time. I'm hoping to improve my box jumps over the next few weeks by practicing at home.  We spent sometime Wednesday on technique so I know what I need to focus on.

I'm still not feeling well, my head has been bothering, my ears are clogged so I feel like I can't here anything.  I kept feeling like I was going to fall over today while working out.  I tried to stay focused as much as possible so I could put not feeling well out of mind.  I think I did pretty well.  I am easily distracted during workouts and it has such a negative effect on me.  Between my ears being clogged and trying to stay focused I don't think I heard much of what people were saying to me.

Been trying to loosen up my hips.  My trainer said they are real tight and its effecting my workouts.  I've been doing simple stretches at my desk which are beginning to help.  I felt a bit of a difference and he noticed a difference.  That's always so encouraging.  So tonight, after I rowed, I took out my foam roller and rolled for about 20 minutes.  Not sure how many of you are familiar with this but it hurts....so GOOD!  I never liked that thing but the after effects are amazing. I feel so relaxed right now. 

My eating was good once again.  I was talking to my friend and Paleo partner, who looks at my blog and she asked about the amount of food I was eating.  She didn't think it was enough.  Even though there are just 2 or 3 items I'm eating during a meal, the portions sizes are sufficient.  I'm eating 6-8 oz. of protein at a meal and about a cup of veggies.  And once I remember my almonds, it will be even better.

Here's what I ate today:

645          2 eggs, 1/2 cup mushrooms, 4 slices turkey bacon, prune juice
11:00       6 oz turkey breast, 2 cups of lettuce
1:15          Protein shake
6:30          2 All beef hot dogs, 1 cup cabbage (hot dogs weren't the best choice)

I drank a good amount of water today...over 100 oz. so I got lots of exercise walking back and forth to the bathroom.

I felt good, emotionally, about everything today.  The only thing that threw me off a bit today was the episode with Nick but that was resolved quickly.  It was truly a good day.  The people I surround myself with all seem to be happy and in a good place in their lives right now.  That always make me feel good.  I love it when the people I love are happy. I just need to get over this sickness or whatever it is, stay focused during my workouts, and stay on track with my eating, oh yeah, and remember my almonds.

The 2 things I'm worried about is the upcoming weekend.  I struggle on weekend, mostly because there is no routine, and detoxing and going into Ketosis which makes me extremely flakey...this stage of the diet comes and goes within 2-3 weeks.  Just a couple of things to look forward to :)

That's it for now...nothing to exciting.  Hoping I will be able to give a good report over the weekend.  This will be my biggest challenge so far.  I'm feeling so good about this, so optimistic...I love the way this feels!

I'm on a Roll!

A great day today!  Feeling good, mentally and emotionally, about lots of things.  Physically feeling pretty crappy because I think I might be getting sick.  My ear is hurting and the top of my head is hurt to the touch…weird. I’m tired and would have loved to sleep today away.

Had a few anxious moments about Nick and his homework but I think we have come up with a solution that should solve the problem…and eliminate any excuses he tries to give for not doing it.  Yesterday he explained to me how he believes his short term memory is not working…hmmm.

I stress over Nick so much.  I’m always worrying about how he is doing, wherever he is.  I worry about the friends he makes at school, the ones I don’t know.  I can’t help but wonder what kind of influence they have over him.  Nick can be so naive at times.  I’m afraid that he may be lead to do something he shouldn’t.  He is such a good kid and has pretty good logic when it comes to what's right and wrong.  But I also know that, like any other child, he wants to be accepted and because of some of his signs or symptoms from Asperger’s, he may not be as quickly as others.  It also takes a while for Nick to warm up to others but once he does and he has trust in them I’m afraid his sense of logic will be affected.

Work was pretty good…I have been putting off 1 or 2 things that I need to focus on.  I need to push my ADHD to the side and get these things done.

Had a great conversation with my trainer about eggs.  I decided to cut back on my eggs because my bad cholesterol was elevated.  The only thing I could attribute that to was the eggs. Since my cholesterol ratio was "phenomenal" as he put it; so why bother cutting out the eggs…they will be back in my diet as they were and I am very excited.  Oh it’s the little things that put a smile on my face,

Also been thinking about my feeling about being disregarded.  I mentioned earlier that I don’t place expectations on people yet I feel disappointed by their action, or even more so, lack thereof.  I realized that it doesn’t have to do with my expectations but everything to do with I don’t deserve to be treated this way.  But that’s enough about that…

Well I forgot about my almonds again.  I have them in the pantry; I just need to grab them on my way out to work.  They are an important part of this diet I’m hoping my brain will be functioning early in the morning.

Here’s what I ate today.  I was much more satisfied than I’ve been since I started.

7:            2 eggs with mushrooms an onion sautéed, 4 slices of turkey’s bacon. 6 oz. prune juice

12:00     Ground chicken with onions, 1 cup of lettuce

145         Protein shake

6:00        8 oz. steak sautéed with mushrooms, onions, olive oil

It may not seem like a lot of food, but it’s enough.  I feel very satisfied.

My workout was pretty good today to.  My legs were burning so bad!  I did make on the rowing machine today (Woo Hoo).  Tj and I did it together.  I did 500 meters than he did, I did 300 meters than he did, we did a total of 1100 meters this evening. It was lots of fun.

That’s about it for tonight…looking forward o completing my first week.  The weekends are always a big challenge for me to stay on track.  I’m determined this time to get through this without any cheats.  That feeling of determination is a wonderful one.

Day 3...Done!

Today was a pretty good day.  A good thing from today… I’m feeling much better about something that broke my heart. This one thing caused me to revert back to the way I used to think about and handle things.  I’m hoping it’s behind me so I can move forward.  A not so good thing that happened today, I received confirmation from one person about a feeling I blogged about Monday and Tuesday.  That’s never fun, it always hurts but that’s the reality of it and once again, I recognize where I stand.

It was a real busy day today; kind of hectic.  Busy at work, had lots to do when I got home tonight, listened a lot and learned at Bible Study to.

My diet was good once again.  A few things were off.  I forgot my almonds again and didn’t eat dinner tonight.  I had so much to do when I got home I didn’t have time to have anything to eat.  By the time everyone left my house it was close to 930 which is just too late for me to eat. I was craving a meatball parm sub today.  Of course I can’t eat that so I made them for our Bible Study group.  Oddly enough watching them eat didn’t bother me at all and my cravings are now gone. I felt my workout was better than it has been the last 2 days.  Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

This is what I ate today…

7:00        Egg scrambled with mushroom and onion, 8 oz. prune juice

11:00     Stuffed cabbage

2:00        Protein shake

Not much to eat at all today.  I’m hungry but I think sleep may do me more justice than food right now.  That’s about it for me for tonight…its almost time for sleep.

2 Days Down and Still Feeling Confident I will accomplish my Goal!

Another day done!  It was a bit better today than yesterday…thank you God.  The most exciting thing about today…I gained a partner!  I’m looking forward to going through the next 29 days with someone.  It makes a huge difference to me to have the support of someone especially when that person is experience what I am experiencing. 

My mood was still way off today…not quite sure what’s going on.  Could be the diet, but it’s only been 2 days.  If the diet was going to have an effect on my mood I don’t think it would have happened so quickly.  I have been struggling trying to understand some things and some people.  I can’t seem to understand why they do the things they do or don’t do the things they say.  I mentioned in yesterday’s blog that I feel disregarded at times.  I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone.  And I truly don’t expect people to do for me.  Yet I feel disappointed every time I realize how low on the totem pole I am when I am not needed.  Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me?  It sucks…what a crappy feeling.

My eating was good again today which is always the brightside of a bad day for me.  I did realize that I forgot all about my almonds.  I was kind of excited when I realized I need to add those to my menu. J  I completed my first fast today also.  I think that may be the most challenging part of all this.  I’m really looking forward to eating breakfast tomorrow…ah the little things in life really do make me happy.

My workout was still off today.  Part of it consisted of running.  Running is not my friend.  Once I know that we are going to run I kick right into a ridiculous self-defeat mode.  Anyway…that’s enough of that…no point in even going into running.  I’m determined to have a much better one tomorrow.

I didn’t make it on the rowing machine again, I was disappointed but I am not going to beat myself up over it.  I have 4 more days to get in my 3 days of rowing for the week.  I’m beginning to think that mornings are not a realistic time for me.  I may just do it in the evening.  Maybe TJ would like to do that with me.  (Hint, hint) J

Here’s what I ate today:

12:00 PM             3 oz. Grilled chicken, 1 cup mushrooms, 1 all beef hot dog (not the best thing but…)

1:45PM                 Protein shake-oh how I love thee right after my workout

4:00PM                 8 oz. Prune Juice

8:30PM                 Cabbage stuffed with ground chicken, mushrooms, onions, peppers

Water                   approx. 96 oz.

Tomorrow will look much better as far as the quantity I will be eating.  How much food can you really fit in a 6 hour window…not very much.

Day 1 down...30 to go!

Today was a tough day.  I stuck to my fast and during the times I was supposed to eat I did great!  I’m feeling pretty down; my anxiety is high today.  A little bit of everything got to me today.  Work, money, one of my boys being disappointed, Joe’s performance, Nick’s Latin, projects, feeling like I’m being disregarded by some…everything seems to be happening all at once. It was the type of day where I just gave in to almost everything.  I gave up to easily on a few things.  I felt like I just didn’t have whatever was needed to get through.

The best part about today is that through all this I was able to stay on track.  I didn’t stray from my fast or my eating plan all day.  That’s a huge accomplishment for me when I’m feeling this way.  What a way to start Day 1 of this 31 day plan I have.

The even better than the best part of the day was the time I spend with my boys celebrating Valentine’s Day.  They bought me a HUGE thing of chocolate.  Ok so it was double chocolate whey protein but that could not have been more perfect J

Here’s what I ate today:

12:00 PM             2 turkey burgers, 1 cup mushrooms sautéed in olive oil seasoned with pepper, ¾ cup Lettuce, 8 oz. prune juice

4:00                        5 oz. turkey breast

4:30                        Protein Shake

6:45                        6 oz. grilled chicken, ½ grilled cup asparagus

Water                   approx. 96 oz.

Definitely not enough food but it was a fasting day so I’m ok with that.  I stuck to the plan I came up with; more veggies and very little fruit.  I feel good about what I accomplished with my eating today.

My work out on the other hand, not so good. I expected it to be below average but not as bad as it was.  I was a bit weak from the way I ate, I was not very motivated and my anxiety, even during my workout was getting to me.  I kept having heart palpitations that made my chest feel heavy and completely threw my breathing off.  We started the workout with an Indian Run which was accompanied by a medicine ball. I was exhausted just from that.  Usually after a workout I feel wonderful.  It usually eliminates my anxiety and almost all my stress.  Instead I went into a coughing fit that lasted about 45 minutes. I didn’t make it to the rowing machine this morning, hopefully tomorrow morning I will be able to get on it before work.

I’m looking forward to a new day tomorrow.  I know when I wake up in the morning I will feel the accomplishments I made today even more.

Here we go again…and I am ready to go! The fast has begun.  It started later then I planned but that’s ok.  I started at 7PM, will end at 1PM.  I’ll eat lots of great meats and proteins until 7PM Monday then back to fasting until 1PM Tuesday.  It should be fine, I may feel it during my workout at 1 on Tuesday but I’ll eat right after that.

I spent a good part of the day preparing.  Stuffed cabbage, sautéed mushrooms, steamed broccoli and carrots, turkey burgers-prep works makes it so much easier.

What going to be the tough part of the first full day.  I am PMSing beyond belief…bad timing to start this but, oh well, will there ever really be a “good” time.  My poor husband, for Valentine’s Day, will get a crankey, PMSing, fasting wife…let’s see how well he holds up.

We had a pretty good weekend for the most part.  Things were off today.  Joe is struggling getting a few words right in his script and Nick is struggling with Homework.  There has been lots of stress just from those two things this weekend.  Both boys had meltdowns, no thanks to their parents.  It’s so hard to handle these situations properly when you want your children to succeed.  But by the end of the day both boys were on track and happy.  We’ll see how Joe does at rehearsal tomorrow night.  Hopefully he’ll do well and won’t end up losing his part to his understudy.  Nick will have a Latin quiz on Tuesday.  Poor guy struggles with so many things and of all the languages it’s mandatory that he take Latin.

Justin was with his friend Bentley last night and all day today.  It’s so much fun when he comes home.  He gives hugs and smiles like he’s been out of town for weeks.  He is doing great with basketball this season and he is excited about baseball season coming up.

That’s it for tonight.  I’ll have lots to share tomorrow after I complete 1 full day. I just hope I remember that I want to row in the morning…I’m so afraid I’m going to forget J

Been out of touch for a while…been doing lots of thinking and planning.  Since I started this blog my head has been clear; cleared of almost everything that has left some kind of scar.  I didn’t know what else to share; I’ve been at a loss for sad stories…why is this?  Probably because I don’t feel sad.  I’m not feeling sorry for me anymore.  I’ve learned to accept things and forgive myself and I am moving forward.

It’s a great feeling!  I see and feel a difference in myself, my attitude, my perspective, and my relationships.  My eating is back on track…I’m so excited about that.  I am in control of myself and most importantly, my emotions. 

So, with all that said, I am going to challenge myself. For a while now I’ve known that the Paleo Diet has been the best way of eating for me yet I can’t stay on it 100% for more than 3 weeks.  Not only am I going to force myself to stay faithful to Paleo for over 30 days, I am going to eliminate the foods that keep me hanging on to it.  Here’s the big plan beginning Sunday, February 13^th, ending March 15^th.

·         Clean eating, nothing processed, no grains, no dairy (sniff, sniff)

·         Barely any fruit.  Fruit was always my saving grace on Paleo.  I’m looking forward to see how much of a difference this will make.

·         EAT MORE VEGGIES.  I am such a slacker when it comes to this.  Thank God for TJ and his amazing ability to grill asparagus.

·         Cut down on eggs; one a day.  I usually have 2 a day, that’s 14 a week…Yikes!

·         No pork for 31 days…another downfall of mine.

·         Intermittent fasting beginning Sunday at 6PM ending Tuesday at 12PM for the next 5 weeks.

·         In addition to regular workouts, get up early in the morning and hop on the rowing machine and do 1500 meters at least 3 times a week.

·         Consistently take fish oil (cause there’s nothing like fish burps to get you through the day)

·         Daily Blog of meals, water intake, workouts, feelings, emotions and whatever else pops up during the day. 

There are a few reasons why I’m doing this.  The main reason is that I have always attributed my horrible eating habits to my emotions.  Now that I believe I have let much go and I am feeling better, I want to see how much better I can handle this way of eating.

I really need to continue to make progress so I can get the rest of this weight off.  The next time I weigh will be on March 16^th, my 45^th birthday.  I want to see something great when I look at that scale. I’m not setting my expectations high at all, as a matter of fact; I don’t have a set amount that I want to lose during this time.  I just want to make decent progress; that would be great for me.

This is the plan; hopefully I can remember all this. It will be tough but I believe in myself, I can do this.  Its only 31 days, how bad could it be?  Anyone want to join me?