Well here we are again...does it ever end? No! I can't let it, not yet. What's the new plan...the new plan is to go back to the old plan. I'm starting with a fast/detox then straight into clean eating <sigh>
The good thing is that there is much inspiration around me at home, at work and with friends. I spent a couple of hours with a great group of ladies this afternoon who have their fitness plans; they are prepared and executing them. We are gathering weekly for a small group bible study/support system. We've been talking about doing this for a few months and we finally pulled it all together today. Now that we have it started I think we will keep it going.
Today's church service hit me pretty hard today. Tears ran down my face practically the entire time. It gave me a lot to think about. I struggle with the feeling that something was taken away from me before its time, that I was a convenience, used, disrespected then left to feel completely worthless. A few months ago I vowed to push those feelings aside, and I did. It's been great until things were stirred up again today. But at the end of the message, it was said that because it didn't work or go as planned the first time doesn't mean it has to end. This made me feel better; as if there were still hope for what I want to do and how I want to look and feel.
I found someone I think I just might be able to rely on. Someone one who at times will be hard on me, even make me cry. But that someone will always be here; never turn their back on me, walk away from me. I won't ever have to worry about what this person is thinking, I'll always know. There will be no guesses, no games, no assumptions, questions, concerns, misunderstandings...nothing like that. We start tomorrow...it's a new beginning...yes, ANOTHER new beginning, but a beginning nonetheless.
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