Today we attended a funeral of a former coworker, he is also the husband of a current coworker.  Its always so sad to have to say goodbye to anyone then to sit through the service and watch the family is truly heartbreaking.

Things like this always make me think about my own life and it reminds me of how blessed I truly am.  My life is far from perfect and it is not easy yet it is pretty amazing.  I have the greatest boys, an amazing family, wonderful friends, a great job; we have our fair share of struggles and lots of obstacles, but we are really no different then anyone else; our challenges may be different but that's about it.

I'm lucky enough to recognize my flaws so I can improve myself; yup I may be slow to rise to the occasion but I do...eventually. I will disappoint people, and I will regress at times; I'm only human, but I will, eventually, pick up my own pieces and move forward no matter how painful it may be, but I do it, eventually.

When someone passes from the world it reminds me of how short life is.  I realize, now more than ever, how much time I let pass as I hold on to the negative and sadder things.  I think about my weaknesses which I've come to realize is something I allow others to feed into with negativity and and extreme sympathy which completely throws me off and eventually makes me feel worse. 

I often think about how crazy all this is.  I literally rob myself of good, fun days because I would allow myself to become a pessimist BUT only when it comes to my own issues.  With others I can discuss issues they are experiencing and see the optimism in almost every situation...isn't that just CRAZY?

Whenever I realize of how short life is,  I also realize how much time I can waste dwelling on the negative.  I'm thankful that I can realize this; I now need to push myself to remember all this and apply my realizations to my life...and most importantly, when others attempt to bring any negativity into my life I need to fight it off and simply walk away.

The last couple of weeks have been going well.  My head seems to be on straight, I am focused and on track with my eating and exercising.  I'm tracking my food, I'm back up to 4 days of working out a week (hoping to make it 5 within the next couple of weeks), I'm losing weight, my level of pain is down and my level of great soreness is up; I feel good again.  I will always be that person who will constantly need to work on herself...I just can't allow myself to lose sight of who I am and what I will be...eventually.