The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of NOT Being Defeated.

It’s been days since I’ve experienced soreness from my workouts.  My guess is the steroids I was taking helped eliminated what I should have felt all week.  Honestly, I was beginning to worry; whenever my trainer asked if I was sore my answer was “no”.  Well, today the answer was much, much different.  It feels as though all the pain I didn’t feel for a while caught up with me.  Yesterday’s workouts were killers; it took everything I had not to quit in the middle of the workout last night.

I do 2 workouts on Wednesday; one in the afternoon for an hour then one at 530 for an hour.  Our trainer broke out the sandbags...YIKES!  He split us into team and we did a relay style workout.  The first station was 20 jumps, then sprint to the next station to do 20 squat presses then sprint to the next station to the sandbags where we had to scoop it up and go from ground to shoulder 20 times then sprint back to the start.  After that round we had to do it again starting with the sandbags.  Well, while I was headed for the dumbbells I see one of my teammates running towards me, and my thought was “hell no he’s not making us do this again, is he?”  Yes he was.  By the time I got back to the start I had to do my last round…I thought I would die.  Once that was done we did another relay running with the sandbags…I was exhausted by the time I was done but I finished.  After the workout we were walking and I asked Brent if would be doing the same workout tonight; he said it would be a little different or similar, something like that and he was being honest, HOWEVER, if there was ever a workout that I thought I would collapse, this was it.   I struggled so much with the sandbags, every time I lifted one up I would feel it in my back.  I tried to focus on keeping my core tight but for some reason I have trouble doing so.  I was frustrated beyond belief; I was ready to quit.  I fought that feeling…it was absolutely a battle for me.  This workout definitely got in my head.  When we did the relay with the sandbags I could barely hold myself up.  I was almost in tears.  I don’t remember the last time I had so much doubt about finishing a workout.

I refused to quit, there was no way I was going to give in after being out of commission for so long.  I needed to prove to myself that I could push through the pain, which I did.  I was hurting more than I ever did last night. I woke up this morning sore and tight; my knee hurt and so did my lower back.  Thankfully my lower back wasn’t as bad as I expected.  The numbness in my leg increased but has already gotten a bit better. 

This turned out to be a great experience for me, I really proved something to the one person who needed to know that she could fight and win.  Whether the pain and the numbness is there are not, I know I can overcome it.  I thought my fear of re-injury would stop me or slow me down, but it hasn’t. Last night was definitely a turning point for me.

The best part of all…I’ve been basking in the soreness of a butt kicking workout all day; with every second of soreness I was reminded that I defeated those 2 workouts, they didn’t defeat me.